i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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