Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
