saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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