At least make sure they are 18
Why
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
