Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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