So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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