Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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