I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Boobs speak an international language.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize