God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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