I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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