She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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