he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize