i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize