Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
