His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
