I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
