OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize