You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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