You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
