I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
