do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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