my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
