took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
