Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
