But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I did not marry a roomba.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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