More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
