I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
