That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
