so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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