Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
