fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
