she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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