roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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