I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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