i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
