found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
