i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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