They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
