Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
