Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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