What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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