Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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