I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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