WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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