therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
