I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
