just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
