You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
