Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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