Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
