Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This is the high leading the old right now
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
