office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize