He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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