Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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