hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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