You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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