Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
