She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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