It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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