how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
