so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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