the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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