my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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