You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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