And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
