dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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