weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
