why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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