sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
