He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
