who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
