I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
