after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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